Supporting Survivors/Bystanders | Heritage
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What is sexual violence?

  • Any form of violence committed through sexual practices or by targeting sexuality and without the consent of the target person
  • Any other misconduct, including that relating to sexual and gender diversity, in such forms as unwanted direct or indirect gestures, comments, behaviors or attitudes with sexual connotations, including by a technological means
  • It is an act of violence, power, and control
  • An act where the perpetrator is the only person responsible for the sexual violence that is committed

Consent 

It's important to realize consent:

  • is never assumed or implied
  • can only be given by the person in question
  • is invalid if the person is legally too young to consent
  • can be expressed in words or gestures
  • cannot be given if the person is impaired by alcohol or drugs, is unconscious or asleep
  • can never be obtained through threats or coercion
  • cannot be obtained if the perpetrator abuses a position of trust, power or authority
  • is not silence or the absence of “NO”
  • can be revoked at any time

Anything other than voluntary and continuous agreement to engage in sexual activity is not consent.

Make sure to be informed on the age of consent to sexual activities

Tea and Consent video (Vimeo)

Rape culture

"Rape culture" is defined as a culture in which dominant ideas, social practices, media images, sexual violence myths, and societal institutions implicitly or explicitly condone sexual violence by normalizing or trivializing male sexual violence and by blaming survivors for their own abuse. It is important to recognize that higher education institutions are not immune to wider social environment in which rape culture is maintained.

More information

You can get more information on sexual assault, myths on sexual violence and possible consequences for victims by checking out the Information Guide for Sexual Assault Victims produced by the government of Quebec. 

What can you do?

Bystander intervention

Taking action when you see a situation where someone is at risk of sexual violence, victimization, or perpetration includes speaking out against rape culture comments and behaviours, supporting victims/survivors, and intervening in potential violence situations

--Kansas University, Sexual Assault Prevention and Education Center

Bystanders can prevent sexual violence and intervene when they recognize a situation could escalate. This approach is used to address the behaviours of others, with the goal of creating safer communities and preventing sexual violence

--Concordia University, Sexual Assault Resource Centre).

Ways to intervene safely and effectively - 4 Ds approach

Distract

Take an indirect approach to de-escalate the situation. If appropriate, you can use humour or an excuse to divert the attention of the perpetrator (ex: "Hey, do you know what time it is?"). By offering a distraction, you create an opportunity for the target of the behaviour to exit the situation.

Direct

Confront the situation. Be clear, use assertive language, and be concise. You can ask the targeted person if they are okay or if they need help. If you feel safe to do so, you could step in to separate the individuals.

Delegate

Seek help from a third party. You can ask a bouncer, a friend, or a supervisor to get involved. Do not hesitate to get the police involved if you do not feel safe intervening.

Document

If it is safe to do so, document the incident. You can take notes on your cellphone or take pictures of the location. This could help identify the perpetrator or help the victim if they choose to take legal actions.

SHOW UP. Your Guide to Bystander Intervention is an excellent resource for more information on bystander intervention. 

Supporting victims and survivors

Only a small percentage of victims will talk about their sexually assault experience. If someone close to you reveals they were a victim of sexual violence, your support is important. You should:

  • believe them and validate their feelings.
  • listen without prying or asking for details.
  • tell them what happened is not their fault and that the perpetrator is the sole person responsible for the sexual violence.
  • DO NOT judge or blame them for what happened, for not having spoken about it earlier, or for having acted a certain way. Do not perpetuate myths of rape culture.
  • let them know they are strong and courageous and they are not alone.
  • ask them how you can support them. Don’t assume you know what they need.
  • respect their choices and their confidentiality. 
  • offer them resources. 
  • understand that everyone deals with trauma differently and that everyone heals in a different way.
  • report to the required authorities.
  • practice self-care. Their disclosure might have an impact on you. It is never easy to talk about sexual violence.